Gratitude is an important part of progress, yet often the one thing that is overlooked. It’s funny how we can want something to show up in our lives for so long and be consciously putting in the internal and external work for it, and then it comes, and how quickly we can dismiss it and begin working for the next thing on our list.
Today, I want to take a moment to reflect on some things I’m grateful for in my life and maybe inspire you to do the same, because sometimes, when we pause to reflect, we realize how quickly things have happened, even though it can feel like forever when we are in the thick of it.
4 Years Ago
4 years ago, I was in the early stages of the end of a 10-year relationship and all that that entailed. Everything inside me was restless, and I realize now how important that restless period was for getting me to the next level. My health and wellness was in disarray, but somehow I knew that was ok, that I was safe, and that I’d find my way back physically once I healed emotionally. Sometimes, we require massive disruption to our comfort zones in order to heal and grow. It was during that time that I said to a friend, “One day, I will work with women around health and wellness. I don’t know what that will look like, but I will”.
I am so grateful for that uncomfortable, emotional upheaval because it led me to what came next.
3 Years Ago
3 years ago, I was in the early stages of a new relationship, and my personal development was skyrocketing. There was still restlessness around my career…I knew I needed to make changes there…but I felt like somehow I would figure out what that looked like. I kept doing the things. I kept reading, learning, listening, expanding, journaling, all the things. I threw myself into growth as a way to deal with the frustration I was feeling around the unfulfilled parts of my life. As I did, information about health coaching started showing up in unexpected places. I had never heard of health coaching. I didn’t even know it was a thing. Then, I happened to listen to a podcast where an admissions person from IIN (Institute for Integrative Nutrition) was being interviewed, and everything he said aligned with everything I believed so strongly. Everything in my body screamed YES! That week, I enrolled in their health coaching program (which is another crazy story in itself). I didn’t have all the steps laid out. I didn’t know how all the dots would connect. All I knew was what was right in that moment and that once I took that first step, the next one would be revealed.
I am so grateful for that time of deep growth and deep restlessness because it led me to what came next.
2 Years Ago
2 years ago, I was in the final stages of my career as a preschool director, an industry I had been in since my early twenties. It was the work that I knew like the back of my hand. There was so much fear and questioning in my mind that I could even do anything else. But I felt in my core that my time there was up, and I had to honor that. I had submitted my resignation in order to focus on finishing my health coach certification and build my coaching practice.
If you ever want to experience something completely scary in your life, step into the complete unknown.
Every insecurity, fear, and doubt will rise up to meet you…over and over and over again. Imposter syndrome will threaten to take you down. All of this will happen, while simultaneously getting you more in touch with your authentic self than you have ever been. Throughout this uncomfortable time, my personal growth only expanded. I continued working with mentors and guides who could help me stay focused, continue the healing, and push me to levels that I wouldn’t have gone on my own. I spent a lot of time envisioning my future. I imagined what it would feel like having deep conversations with clients about their health and wellness and bettering their lives. I wanted it more than anything…so much so that, looking back, I can see how it kept me from being present in the moment and enjoying the process of becoming… because I just wanted to be.
I am so grateful for that scary, insecure time because it led me to what came next.
1 Year Ago
1 year ago, I began providing health coaching at a functional medicine practice a few days a week, in conjunction with continuing to build my own practice. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have moments where I thought of it as a step back. I had many times when I would almost think of myself as a failure, like why didn’t my practice reach sustainable levels in the first 6 months like all the stories of the coaches I read about on social media? Why hadn’t my business brought in consistent 10k months in the first year? Why was I having to work for someone else when I had heard so many success stories of people whose businesses had BLOWN UP seemingly overnight when they first started? It clearly meant one thing: that something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve money and success and was silly for even trying, and that I was, in fact, an imposter. The past year has brought many highs and lows in my mind due to self-deprecating thoughts like these.
Recently, I was in session with a patient at the functional medicine practice. As she opened up to me, I had what was almost an out-of-body experience, where it was like I was outside of myself, observing myself in conversation with her. I saw myself sitting there as the practitioner, providing a safe container for this lady to share so openly. I felt how comfortable she felt. I felt the trust between us. I heard myself ask her questions and offer solutions. I saw her receive them.
And suddenly, I was hit with the realization that I was doing it. I was doing exactly what I had wanted to do 2 years ago. 2 years prior, I had imagined what it would feel like to be in sessions like this with clients, how it would feel to play a part in changing lives, and now, here I was doing exactly that. It didn’t matter HOW those conversations were happening, it only mattered that they WERE happening. I had been so caught up in the idea that success meant my personal business thriving, that I wasn’t even noticing the impact I was having elsewhere. I had been so focused on what I thought was a destination, that I had lost sight of the gratitude in the journey. I had been so attached to an outcome that I thought was the only right outcome, and that attachment was keeping me from experiencing, appreciating, and being present in the journey.
I am so grateful for the moment I realized all the ways in which I HAVE achieved so many of my goals.
I am grateful for the journey and all the places it has brought me, both the breathtakingly beautiful places and the gut-wrenchingly uncomfortable places, because I know they are leading me to what is next.
